It's been said that cats possess masculine dating traits and dogs, well, they possess the female.
A dog, like many women in a relationship, can get a little needy. Dogs would rather be out on an evening stroll with you than having to be stuck at home while you are out with the guys.
A cat doesn't care if his owner is out with the girls. He could use the alone time.
A dog, like some women, likes to binge eat and will go for the whole cake if no one is around to see.
A dog, like many women, is overly affectionate. Dogs will greet you at the door and try to cuddle with you at inappropriate times. Dogs just don't give you any space. They always want to follow you around and spend every waking moment with you.
And that list could go on.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Say cheese.
Online dating is a safe place for people to use cheesy lines without being laughed at by the opposite sex.
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Only when online dating would a guy use the name "Sir Hugs A Lot," or use the tag line "Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"
Please!
But then again, at least "Sir Hugs A Lot" shows a little more personality than "Nice Guy 916."
Then there are the tag lines like: "Just trying this for fun" or "Are you the one?"
Whatever, Mr. Original. Do you put as much thought into your relationships as you do your profile?
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Catty much?
Do you ever wonder why a lot of single girls have cats?
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Well, perhaps it's like practice for having a boyfriend.
Cats, like men, are aloof. They want your affection, but only when they want it. Otherwise they are most happy when alone with their toys.
Cats, like men, will meow (whine) when you don't do what they want.
Cats, like men, will wake you up in the middle of the night when they want to be pet. They don't care if you aren't in the mood.
Cats, like men, will often run away scared when you start sobbing.
And the list could go on.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Rebound
"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship." - Miranda, Sex and the City
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
And that's why it sucks when you discover that you've been elected someone's rebound girlfriend.
When they find out you're not exactly . . . well, not even close . . . to their ex-girlfriend, it's all downhill from there.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Old Hat
Men seem to treat their old girlfriends like security blankets.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Literally, when men have nothing better "to do" they come running back to women they just left.
Maybe men have short-term memories. Or maybe men second guess their decisions to leave.
But maybe men are relying on the fact that you once said you loved them, and they want to exploit those old feelings, because they can. When the night is over, they'll be gone and you end up feeling used.
That's why you have to cut off ex-boyfriends forever.
Just remember you will survive, so change your stupid lock and make your ex leave his key.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Animal Attraction
When you meet a guy at a pet store and he's buying a big bag of dog food and you're buying a big bag of cat food, can the relationship really work out?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Clearly he's a dog person and you a cat person. Cats and dogs don't get along.
When there's a fundamental lifestyle difference or opinion should you still give the person a chance?
Should a non-smoker try to date a smoker? Can someone from the political left date someone from the political right? Should someone who wants to have kids date someone who doesn't?
These are the deal breakers.
Now a person can get rid of their cat or their dog. And a smoker can quit. But that's a long way to go for love, if it is indeed love.
And why give up a loyal pal, such as your cat, who has been with you through more boyfriends and break ups than you care to remember.
You and your pet are a package deal. Or are they?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Go away. Go away. Go away.
There are some ex-boyfriends who should just drop off the face of the planet. It would just be better for all those involved.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Like the ex-boyfriend who occasionally sends you little tokens in the mail out of the blue. Is it to show you that they still think about you? Or do they just want to see what sort of emotions they can still evoke?
Seeing their name on an envelope can make your heart stop, even if you haven't thought about them in months.
And then you call them to thank them and they tell you that they got their new girlfriend to mail it.
All they wanted to do is pick off the scabs and rub salt in the wounds. What next are they going to stab you in the heart? Oh wait. They ripped that out long ago.
Sadistic bastards like that are those that should really, really drop off the face of the planet.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Lesbians
Why do guys always, at some point, have to bring up the idea of a threesome?
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
That is so uncool.
If the girl is really into you, she doesn't want to share. And if she ends up playing the supporting role, while the other girl stars, you better watch out. Because someone in a threesome always has to play the supporting role, like that's fun.
And guys, if it's not cool for you to do a threesome with another guy and a girl, then why do you think it would be cool for a girl to do it with another girl and a guy?
Haven't you ever seen the movie "Threesome" or "Chasing Amy?" It will just make the relationship awkward.
A threesome is a fantasy. And that's the way it should stay - a fantasy.
Plus, where are you going to get the second girl from? I mean, really. You? You had enough trouble getting the girl you have to sleep with you.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The benefit to being a girl...
"Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again." - Susan Healy
And the meal is usually free.
And the meal is usually free.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Guys, once and a while...
1. Buy a girl flowers for no reason at all.
2. Tell the girl you like her just the way she is and mean it. (You better mean it, otherwise why are you dating her?)
3. Give her a hug when she has a bad day.
4. Make her supper and bake a cake too.
5. Take her somewhere to do something she has never tried before . . . like rock climbing.
And by the way, you'll notice that this list is about showing that you care.
If you really want to win a girl's heart, that's all you've got to do is show her that you care. And if you can do it creatively and romantically, more power to you.
Sex is secondary. It really is.
2. Tell the girl you like her just the way she is and mean it. (You better mean it, otherwise why are you dating her?)
3. Give her a hug when she has a bad day.
4. Make her supper and bake a cake too.
5. Take her somewhere to do something she has never tried before . . . like rock climbing.
And by the way, you'll notice that this list is about showing that you care.
If you really want to win a girl's heart, that's all you've got to do is show her that you care. And if you can do it creatively and romantically, more power to you.
Sex is secondary. It really is.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Pointless
Guys who say they aren't looking to be in a relationship right now are difficult to understand.
What's the point of dating someone if there is no possibility of a blooming relationship?
You're not looking for something serious. Well, chances are the girl is looking for something that will grow to be more serious.
Why should a girl waste her time on such a guy?
When a guy says they are not looking for anything serious, that is a girl's cue to run far away and fast. Because that sort of guy is just looking to use her.
What's the point of dating someone if there is no possibility of a blooming relationship?
You're not looking for something serious. Well, chances are the girl is looking for something that will grow to be more serious.
Why should a girl waste her time on such a guy?
When a guy says they are not looking for anything serious, that is a girl's cue to run far away and fast. Because that sort of guy is just looking to use her.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Taking a chance
"Don't forget that the words, 'Would you like to join me for coffee?' can result in one of the greatest romances of all time." - Life's Little instruction Calendar Volume XI
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
Those words can also lead to one of the greatest disasters of all time too.
But you don't know until you try.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Foolish Games
Some of us have an ex that has nine lives.
You really loved him or her. They hurt you badly, as in "wrenching pain that brought you to your knees sobbing" badly.
But they have the power to win you back and hurt you again. Then win you back once more so they can hurt you.
But a part of you will always love them. And for that, you are always willing to give them a chance, and then another chance.
Two years go by, and you think they are out of your life completely, until you meet them on the street one day. You thought you were over them, but the very sight of them gives you the butterflies . . . so you give them another chance.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But fool me three times and then four, and then five times. . . well, it's because I live in faith that one day you'll grow up and stop fooling.
Many of us have an ex like that. The only way to escape him or her is if they get married and move to the other side of the world . . . Because no matter what they do, when they come calling, you can't say no to them.
There is always that part that loves them foolishly and unconditionally. And it is that love that drowns out whatever hate you should be feeling for them when you see them.
You really loved him or her. They hurt you badly, as in "wrenching pain that brought you to your knees sobbing" badly.
But they have the power to win you back and hurt you again. Then win you back once more so they can hurt you.
But a part of you will always love them. And for that, you are always willing to give them a chance, and then another chance.
Two years go by, and you think they are out of your life completely, until you meet them on the street one day. You thought you were over them, but the very sight of them gives you the butterflies . . . so you give them another chance.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." But fool me three times and then four, and then five times. . . well, it's because I live in faith that one day you'll grow up and stop fooling.
Many of us have an ex like that. The only way to escape him or her is if they get married and move to the other side of the world . . . Because no matter what they do, when they come calling, you can't say no to them.
There is always that part that loves them foolishly and unconditionally. And it is that love that drowns out whatever hate you should be feeling for them when you see them.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
What it should look like...
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle." - Crystal Middlemas
Monday, February 13, 2006
Be mine...
Valentine's Day is like Christmas for some people. People in a relationship want the day to be perfect, but usually the day turns out to be anticlimatic.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
And people who are alone end up feeling lonlier than normal.
It's just another commercial holiday aimed at selling greeting cards. It's a holiday that can make us feel miserable.
It's like Christmas.
Except unlike Christmas, it's okay to pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't exist. Push the day out of your mind. Make it a day like any other.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Online Dating
The popularity of online dating is picking up.
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Apparently some people are going on five or six dates a week thanks to online dating. Some people even go on three or four dates a night.
These serial daters know what they want in a partner, so they give each of their dates a 20-minute in-person interview. And when that person turns out to not be the one, it is out the door for them.
Can you really screen people that quickly? Doesn't romance take time to grow?
If you go through dates so quickly, won't you be too cynical to know when the right person comes along. Yeah, sure that person might like dogs, and you cats. But still if given a chance . . . it can go somewhere. Can't it?
Since when did dating become like a job interview? Can love really be found that way?
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Loneliness
"My love life was getting so bland. There are only so many ways I can make love with my hand. Sometimes it makes me want to laugh. Sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath."- Blink 182
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Sometimes you wonder if that box of condoms you keep in your underwear drawer is going to expire before you have sex again . . . even if the expiry date is two years away.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Rejection
A rejection is a blow to our ego, especially when it is by someone we really liked.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Rejection can have us running to our mirrors to examine our warts and all. And if you get rejected enough, you begin to look for the mutant tail possibly growing from your behind.
Rejection can get you wanting to make a cocoon of your blanket, so you never have to leave your bed again.
Is it you? Are you really a horrible person? Or is it them? Do they just not know what they are missing? They just don't get you.
After a long dry spell in your dating life, should you give up and accept your life as a singleton?
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw asked on Sex and the City.
But, then again, is their love out their for everyone?
We can't give up hope.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Singleton Sports Pages
Seniors read the obituaries with a great deal of interest, as they are sadly getting to the age when everyone they know is passing away.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Twenty and thirty-somethings read the wedding announcements so they can count the people they know, or once knew, that are getting married.
When you're single in your late 20s and early 30s you can usually count, with one hand, the number of friends you have who are still single.
When you are in your late 30s and early 40s, you may likely be able to count, with both hands, the number of friends you have that are divorced.
Perhaps this is because people get married too quickly. And maybe, subconsciously, they do it for the sake of getting married. They overlook a person's problem qualities because they want them to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Weighty Matters.
"Never give anyone you're dating a diet book." -Life's Little Instruction Calendar Volume XI
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Thank you Captain Obvious!!
But really what do you do if the person you are dating starts putting on a little weight, or a lot of weight. If you really like them, it shouldn't matter. Should it?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
On true love . . .
"Some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
As for the people who won't settle for anything less than butterflies, are they expecting too much?
Maybe they'll never find their butterflies.
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Sequel: A single fear.
In Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 3, Episode 20), Anya, the demon-turned-human, who is still developing her first human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Because of Anya's demon past, she has a lot of contempt for men. She was a demon who punished men who were unfaithful to their girlfriends and wives.
Anya: "I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date to the prom . . . All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me."
Despite the fact that she hates all men, she still couldn't go to the dance alone.
While that is an extreme example, many people feel they need a date . . . enough people to keep escort services busy anyway.
Why do we fear being alone? Why do so many people lack the ability to be alone?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
A point on men.
There is a telling scene about men in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season Three, Episode 20) when Anya, a demon turned human, who is just starting to gain human feelings, asks Xander to the prom.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Xander is resistant, so Anya says: "Look I know you find me attractive. I see you looking at my breasts."
Xander says: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open." (It doesn't mean that he likes her).
But in the end, Xander goes with Anya because he doesn't have any other potential dates for the prom.
Sometimes I think if a man really wants to get laid, or really wants a date to the prom, or whatever, he will lower the bar and take the last woman standing if he must.
That's why there are prostitutes with three teeth who are able to maintain a steady business.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Online Dating in a Nutshell
Take any one online dating site and look up one city. There can be 100s of locals listed.
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
But all those guys can be lumped into a few small categories. Let's look at some of those groups.
1) Recently Divorced with Kids: He's all like: "I've been out of the dating scene for a while. I love my kids. Here's a picture of me with a beer. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm laid back." He's usually in his early to late 40s and sends "smiles" to all the 20-somethings on the site.
2) Shyness Issues Boy: He would never approach a girl in "real life," but online dating lets him sit back and let the dates come to him.
3) Buff, Bleach-Blond Hair Boy - These boys are processed cheese. The cookie-cutter pretty boys. You've seen one. You've seen them all. They lack in real personality. And since they have an image to maintain, do not apply unless you are a tall, attractive cookie-cutter blond.
4) "I'm just here to see what's out there, but not looking for a relationship" Player - Enough said. Stay away from him, the "he used to date my cousin and he cheated on her" types.
5) "No real concept of what I look like" Guy - Some people say they are muscular, fit or average in their profiles . . . and in reality . . . not so much. I like these people who are honest and tuned into reality.
These are just some of the online dating categories. Aren't stereotypes fun? And yes, the same categories can apply to girls.
Oh sure, there are guys online that fall into the nice guy, keeper categories. But who wants to make fun of them?
Friday, February 03, 2006
A resolution
In the movie "Bridget Jones's Diary," Bridget swears off forming any romantic attachments to:
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
"alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits" and "perverts."
I think most women regularly have problems with men who are commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs and emotional fuckwits.
An example of an emotional fuckwit.
When a guy tells his girlfriend that it is not his job to support her emotionally the first time she confides in him about a problem regarding her job.
He then doesn't get why she breaks up with him right then and there.
Fuckwit: A person who is not only lacking in clue, but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Just Friends
Why is it when people are breaking up they agree to remain friends?
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
You can try to be friends, but most people learn very quickly that when they break up with someone this is hard to do, especially when the break up was difficult.
Being friends impedes the healing process. It's best to cut each other out of your lives completely for at least a year or two if you truly want to be friends again later.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Famous Last Words
You know a relationship is over when your significant other says: "We need to talk."
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
Those are words nobody wants to hear. And that doesn't just apply to dating.
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