Knees

Occasionally you meet a guy who makes your knees weak. He distracts you with his presence. And you always have to watch him out of the corner of your eye.

He, of course, seems to take no interest in you at all.

I hate that.

Thinking it out.

It’s always good to step back from your crushes for a brief moment.

Sometimes it turns out you don’t really like the person. It is just there have been so few options in your life lately that you’re practically ready to jump on any new eligible male who comes into your life, even if he is dull and boring or a total jerk. You can blind yourself to his flaws just so you can keep an open option for yourself, which is the only option you might have at the moment.

Grey Matter

Dating would be easier if you could keep things black and white. He forgets to call. It’s over. He says something inappropriate. It’s over.

If he doesn’t have a university education, you don’t go out with him. If he lives with his parents, you don’t go out with him.

If it were that easy, there would be no emotional messes.

But then again, you probably would never go out with anyone. And if you did, your relationship wouldn’t last a month.

There needs to be room for exceptions and forgiveness—the shades of grey.

But it’s the shades of grey that bring the heartache.

A little crush...

Do you ever have those crushes you shouldn't have?

Like the person is a total geek, but for some odd reason you are strangely attracted to them?

Or the person is a total jerk . . .

Sometimes our hormones go against our nature.

Tough love.

Can we ever begin to really understand love?

The ancient Greeks had four different words that meant love.

"Eros" was one of those words. It refers to erotic, sexual love.

"Storge" refers to family love, like the love between a parent and child, or perhaps between a husband or wife.

"Philia" is the third word for love. It speaks of a brotherly affection that one might have while in a deep friendship or partnership.

"Agape" is a love that loves without changing. It is a self-giving love that gives without expecting repayment. It is a love so great that it can be given to the undesirable. It is love that loves even when rejected. Agape love gives because it wants to.

So perhaps, when it comes to our so called soul mate, we will love them in all four of these ways. And if we don't, then maybe they are not our soul mate.

Bad Timing

Have you ever had a crush on a guy? You hung out with him many times. You did everything you could to show him that you were into him.

It was like you were dating him, except he didn't know it.

And then you gave up and moved on. Disgruntled towards him, you decided you dislike him. You now despise his habits you thought were so cute. He gets on your nerves. You break up with him in your head.

Then, finally, he decides to like you. But you've decided you don't like him at all. You wouldn't date him now. His very presence makes you ill.

A case of the blahs.

Is there a certain point that you just give up on finding love?

Does it ever feel like in a sea of men there are none that are really that interesting? There is no one out there you can form a real connection with.

Perhaps finding love is like finding a needle in a haystack - a task that some would consider near impossible.

So do you give up? Some would say never.

Marry me.

Once women get into their late 20s the pressure to marry begins to increase.

A girl's grandparents, if still alive, will complain that they'll never have great grandchildren. They ask the priest to say a special prayer during mass for their single granddaughter.

A single girl will start hearing crazy cat lady jokes from her friends . . .

Even today, when a woman is capable of supporting herself, there is still a lot of pressure for a girl to get married. And if she can do it before she is 30, the pressure's off.

If she makes it to 50 with no ring, all bets are likely off.

Proper Etiquette

If you're talking to a male co-worker who is blatantly staring at your chest and it's making you uncomfortable, how do you respond?

Do you say something?

Or do you cross your arms over your chest to not-so-discreetly say quit looking?

It's not a crime to look, or even blatantly stare. . . But girls do sometimes notice guys looking, and it can make us cringe, just a little, because it can be horribly inappropriate, such as in a work situation.

A raw deal.

"Men get laid, but women get screwed." - Quentin Crisp

Celebrity Crushes

When we have no real prospects of our own, we turn to celebrity crushes to fill in the void.

Most of us, as Average Joes, would never stand a chance in hell with any celebrity, even if we stalked them to the end of the earth.

But still fantasies about celebrities help fill in the void when life gets desperate.

Coatman says...

"Dating always has been similar to applying for a job: asking somebody out is the application, the first few dates are the interviews, and the early stages thereafter the internship. And, just like being in a job, if one does really, really well, eventually, one can become a partner." -Coatman, author of Celibacy and the Suburbs.

Looking for what exactly?

Can we really know what our ideal partner looks like before we meet them?

I bet most people are looking for someone who is intelligent, kind, witty, generous and attractive - whatever that means.

Beauty and intelligence are in the eyes of the beholder.

But what other characteristics beyond that are we looking for? Can we really know what we are looking for before we meet him or her?

Haven't you met someone who you really didn't think was that interesting or attractive, but then over time that person won you over?

Life is full of surprises.

We could all be like Charlotte York on Sex and the City. She ended up marrying the character Harry Goldenblatt.

Harry was the total opposite of what Charlotte desired. He was bald and chewed with his mouth open.

Charlotte started dating him because she knew she could let her guard down around Harry, since she would never fall for anybody like him.

Her initial relationship with him was about sex. And even then she was embarrassed about being with him.

Overtime Charlotte fell for him, although she kept denying her feelings for Harry, both to herself and her friends.

Charlotte kept using his hairy back and lack of social skills to justify not wanting to be with him, but deep down, her feelings grew every single time they got together.

Eventually she confessed her feelings for Harry after he told her he couldn't marry anyone who wasn't Jewish. Charlotte converted and the two were married.

The moral of the story is never say never.

Just because you think you know what you want doesn't mean you do.

Life is full of surprises.

Making Up

"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln

The same can be said for humans too.

It's all in a day's work.

How far does your job carry you in the world of dating?

Do doctors have easier times finding dates than funeral directors?

Some people would find a funeral director just plain creepy. It wouldn't matter how nice a person the funeral director was.

There are a few male television reporters who think telling women what they do is a good pick-up line. "That's right baby. I'm on TV."

And many a woman likes a man in uniform, unless she has a criminal record, a problem with authority or political views opposing military operations.

Are we education snobs? Do high school drop outs have a tougher time in the dating world? Do people with more than one university degree have an easier time picking up?

How much of what we do for a living plays into who we date?

Avoiding Johnny Appleseeds

There are countless men out there who would say flirting with women is like planting seeds.

Like a good farmer, a man doesn't just plant one seed fully expecting that one to survive all the bad weather and poor conditions of the land. Instead the man plants hundreds of seeds in hopes that a few will survive and flourish.

At the end of the growing season, the man will have several plants he can eat. And when those plants are all gone, he can plant some more seeds.

Well, women are not seeds.

I don't like being one of several woman a man is planting his interest in.

If a man is truly worthy of my respect, I should really be the only person he is interested in.

Because in the words of Saturday Night Live's Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough, smart enough, and - doggone it - people like me!"

And if a guy can't see that, and wants to write me off as one of many generic seeds he is trying to plant, then good riddance.

I demand to stand on a pedestal because I am worth it.

But with such a demand like that I'm going to be single for a long, long while.