Coatman says...

"Dating always has been similar to applying for a job: asking somebody out is the application, the first few dates are the interviews, and the early stages thereafter the internship. And, just like being in a job, if one does really, really well, eventually, one can become a partner." -Coatman, author of Celibacy and the Suburbs.

Looking for what exactly?

Can we really know what our ideal partner looks like before we meet them?

I bet most people are looking for someone who is intelligent, kind, witty, generous and attractive - whatever that means.

Beauty and intelligence are in the eyes of the beholder.

But what other characteristics beyond that are we looking for? Can we really know what we are looking for before we meet him or her?

Haven't you met someone who you really didn't think was that interesting or attractive, but then over time that person won you over?

Life is full of surprises.

We could all be like Charlotte York on Sex and the City. She ended up marrying the character Harry Goldenblatt.

Harry was the total opposite of what Charlotte desired. He was bald and chewed with his mouth open.

Charlotte started dating him because she knew she could let her guard down around Harry, since she would never fall for anybody like him.

Her initial relationship with him was about sex. And even then she was embarrassed about being with him.

Overtime Charlotte fell for him, although she kept denying her feelings for Harry, both to herself and her friends.

Charlotte kept using his hairy back and lack of social skills to justify not wanting to be with him, but deep down, her feelings grew every single time they got together.

Eventually she confessed her feelings for Harry after he told her he couldn't marry anyone who wasn't Jewish. Charlotte converted and the two were married.

The moral of the story is never say never.

Just because you think you know what you want doesn't mean you do.

Life is full of surprises.

Making Up

"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln

The same can be said for humans too.

It's all in a day's work.

How far does your job carry you in the world of dating?

Do doctors have easier times finding dates than funeral directors?

Some people would find a funeral director just plain creepy. It wouldn't matter how nice a person the funeral director was.

There are a few male television reporters who think telling women what they do is a good pick-up line. "That's right baby. I'm on TV."

And many a woman likes a man in uniform, unless she has a criminal record, a problem with authority or political views opposing military operations.

Are we education snobs? Do high school drop outs have a tougher time in the dating world? Do people with more than one university degree have an easier time picking up?

How much of what we do for a living plays into who we date?

Avoiding Johnny Appleseeds

There are countless men out there who would say flirting with women is like planting seeds.

Like a good farmer, a man doesn't just plant one seed fully expecting that one to survive all the bad weather and poor conditions of the land. Instead the man plants hundreds of seeds in hopes that a few will survive and flourish.

At the end of the growing season, the man will have several plants he can eat. And when those plants are all gone, he can plant some more seeds.

Well, women are not seeds.

I don't like being one of several woman a man is planting his interest in.

If a man is truly worthy of my respect, I should really be the only person he is interested in.

Because in the words of Saturday Night Live's Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough, smart enough, and - doggone it - people like me!"

And if a guy can't see that, and wants to write me off as one of many generic seeds he is trying to plant, then good riddance.

I demand to stand on a pedestal because I am worth it.

But with such a demand like that I'm going to be single for a long, long while.