Hey, hey, goodbye!

There is something sad about going on a few dates with a guy and realizing he isn't for you.

It means it's back to "being out there."

You sigh as you think: "How many more losers do I have to date until I find the one?"

The one, whatever that means? Does anyone ever really find the one? Only answer this question if you've been with your partner for over 40 years. It seems that marriages grow tired over the years.

Revenge

Remember, when talking to the ex, even when you are miserable, you have to make it look like your life is going well.

Like a good public relations person, put a positive spin on your life's circumstances. Everything is going great.

Smile, appear happy and rub what you can into their faces. Appear unphased when they tell you they are getting married next week.

The goal: Make them feel jealous. Make them feel like it's their loss.

Even if you don't ever want to date them again, even if you hate them for everything they did to you, you have to be the bigger, better person in an effort to add to your ex's pain.

Sit and Wait

It is written that if you ask a guy out, you eliminate the chase. The chase is what is fun for the guy.

Apparently, if they like you, they will step it up and ask you out.

If you ask a guy out yourself, it takes all the fun out of it for the guy. Maybe it's true. But now you are sitting and waiting for this guy to ask you out and it's just not happening. You hang out together all the time. He calls you occasionally. But maybe he is just not that into you.

Stupid.

Why is it when you run into a cute guy, you're always doing something stupid, like buying a donut? (Girls aren't supposed to be seen eating sugary, fattening foods after all).

Timing

Timing is everything.

If you want to get married, you have to find a guy who wants to get married. You know, a guy who already has the house and career he wants. Find a guy who is happy where he is in life.

If you find a guy whose upgrading his education or thinking about moving to a new city then run, even if you seem to be perfect for each other. This guy is too busy thinking about himself and isn't ready to make decisions as a couple. Unless you're willing to make some sacrifices for him and he's willing to let you, it will never work out.

Rubbing it in.

You might not know a Mandy. At least not until you learn your ex's new girlfriend is named Mandy. Then suddenly you'll meet a new Mandy every second day.

The fates like to rub it in.

V-Day

For those of you who felt lonley on Valentine's Day, just remember the "holiday" was created as a commercial ploy to sell cards.

You're not getting any money from those card sales, so who cares about Valentine's Day.

Besides, trees had to die for those cards to be made. So if you didn't give or receive a card this Valentine's Day, good for you. The environment and anti-capitalists thank you.