Hey, hey, goodbye!

There is something sad about going on a few dates with a guy and realizing he isn't for you.

It means it's back to "being out there."

You sigh as you think: "How many more losers do I have to date until I find the one?"

The one, whatever that means? Does anyone ever really find the one? Only answer this question if you've been with your partner for over 40 years. It seems that marriages grow tired over the years.

Revenge

Remember, when talking to the ex, even when you are miserable, you have to make it look like your life is going well.

Like a good public relations person, put a positive spin on your life's circumstances. Everything is going great.

Smile, appear happy and rub what you can into their faces. Appear unphased when they tell you they are getting married next week.

The goal: Make them feel jealous. Make them feel like it's their loss.

Even if you don't ever want to date them again, even if you hate them for everything they did to you, you have to be the bigger, better person in an effort to add to your ex's pain.

Sit and Wait

It is written that if you ask a guy out, you eliminate the chase. The chase is what is fun for the guy.

Apparently, if they like you, they will step it up and ask you out.

If you ask a guy out yourself, it takes all the fun out of it for the guy. Maybe it's true. But now you are sitting and waiting for this guy to ask you out and it's just not happening. You hang out together all the time. He calls you occasionally. But maybe he is just not that into you.

Stupid.

Why is it when you run into a cute guy, you're always doing something stupid, like buying a donut? (Girls aren't supposed to be seen eating sugary, fattening foods after all).

Timing

Timing is everything.

If you want to get married, you have to find a guy who wants to get married. You know, a guy who already has the house and career he wants. Find a guy who is happy where he is in life.

If you find a guy whose upgrading his education or thinking about moving to a new city then run, even if you seem to be perfect for each other. This guy is too busy thinking about himself and isn't ready to make decisions as a couple. Unless you're willing to make some sacrifices for him and he's willing to let you, it will never work out.

Rubbing it in.

You might not know a Mandy. At least not until you learn your ex's new girlfriend is named Mandy. Then suddenly you'll meet a new Mandy every second day.

The fates like to rub it in.

V-Day

For those of you who felt lonley on Valentine's Day, just remember the "holiday" was created as a commercial ploy to sell cards.

You're not getting any money from those card sales, so who cares about Valentine's Day.

Besides, trees had to die for those cards to be made. So if you didn't give or receive a card this Valentine's Day, good for you. The environment and anti-capitalists thank you.

Have your cake.

Some men are like chocolate cake. You know you shouldn't, but you also know it will taste so good if you do.

You'll take only one bite, or so you tell yourself. But before you know it, you've eaten not just one piece, but the whole cake.

Phobia

There comes a time when you've had your heart stepped on so many times that you don't want to go back out there.

The thought of a new boyfriend scares you. What hurt will you face this time if you enter a new relationship?

Settling in.

You know you're just settling when you decide to be with someone who has an issue you have to work to ignore.

Dependents

Some men are simply looking for their mother in a relationship. And there are women out there who are happy to oblige.

Not only do these women make the meals and do the chores, they say "dear, you can't have any chocolate ice cream. It will spoil your dinner."

And "dear, make sure you're home by eight."

These women have rules and they are not afraid to lay down the law.

They also manage the purse strings.

There is no such thing as an equal partnership in these relationships.

It's like single parenthood, except the child is the woman's lover.

The Nameless

Ex-boyfriends become the names that cannot be named.

If you want to tell an anecdote that involves them, you have to say a “friend of mine.”

Because if you use their name, the person you are talking to, like your parents, for instance, will say “whatever happened to him. I liked that guy.”

And then you have to explain a whole bunch of stuff you don’t want to explain.

Trust, Passion and Love

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy and Spike find they are pulled together by love. They don’t want to love each other at first, but they can’t contain their feelings and are drawn to each other. Buffy, of course, fights her feelings every step of the way. She resists her own feelings of love in this little bit of dialogue:

BUFFY: I'm not saying I don't have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to become that.

SPIKE: Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.

BUFFY: Until there's nothing left. That kind of love doesn't last.

And in fiction that kind of love ends tragically. Perhaps it is also true in life.